Popping In

Has it really been about 6 weeks since I last blogged? Wow! That's too long! Life has been the busiest it's even been, let me tell you that. Between being in my friends wedding, school being in full force, work being busy, my birthday, Thanksgiving and then in the middle of it all we had flooding in our apartment. Cue the part where I pick up and move 2 weeks before finals. Fun times! God's been so good in all of it, and has carried me through it all. That's a story for later that I will definitely share!

I'm studying right now since finals are this week, but I felt the need to take a break and write. I'm actually having a bit of a tough day emotionally. If you couldn't tell from previous postings, there is family stuff going on right now. In the midst of that I'm trying to work on myself, learn from what's going on, mature and process. I've been going to a counselor to do these things, and it's been absolutely wonderful. I also have a mentor who is such an amazing example to me, and we connect on many levels (including family issues similar to what is going on for me right now). However, I think that why I'm having a difficult day is because there are times when I digress and instead of marking myself as an adult within my family dynamics with a particular person, I get a little wrapped up in a moment where I act instinctively with what I've known in the past, as oppose to what I want to be. And, it actually really frustrates me. I am learning that I actually have a slower emotional response time, so I can't act too quickly. Also, because this breaking down of a part of my life is simply hard. It's crappy. Period. And I am learning how to forgive and let healing happen, but darn it, it's not easy. And my humanness gets in the way. And I just want to shout, "this other person isn't changing and is making it really difficult and there are a thousand reasons why I could be hurt and of course I just want to protect myself!!!!"

I am at a little less frustrated point, because it is a little less frustrating to know why you are frustrated. Haha, if that makes any sense. But, if you could be praying for healing for me and my whole family. And in the immediate timeframe, prayer for quality studying, with lots of absorption of material and focus. xoxo

He's In The Army Now

The other week I got to witness something quite memorable and honorable. My 20 year old cousin became a US Marine. It was a privilege to be at the graduation ceremony, and get more insight into how the US Army is designed and works. Here are some pictures of the day!

This is my Nan... This photo is hysterical to me because she refuses to have her picture taken. Always. This photo happened a little accidental. But I think we now have a solution to her taking pictures. She can be the Wilson on Home Improvement of our family. We love you Nan!

A proud PopPop

Silly boys :)

The band. They were so far away, but they were a blast!

My cousin is in this group here.

A full fledged Marine now

My cousin and uncle

Aaron & his proud girlfriend

The proud mama

Well done Aaron! We love you lots, and are so proud of you!

Peace out

Always Save

Last night I wrote this long post about some of the ways that I have been challenged, and am learning. It's a sequel to a post a did a little while ago. However, I forgot to press save and it got deleted. Blarg! Always remember to save, people. Always!

(p.s., I will reconstruct the post, because it was good. Also, I have another post to write that is mostly a picture post. I know it's been a while since I posted pictures on here.)

Peanut

I have a problem. Of the feline kind. You see, my younger sister got a cat last year. His name is Peanut. Fast forward to the present. My sister left for Italy to study abroad for the year almost two months ago, and my aunt is now housing the cat because my parents had to get rid of their house and can't keep him.
But here is where the problem lies. My aunt has a cat of her own, and Peanut isn't getting along with him. She is trying to keep them apart, but she can't keep Peanut for much longer at all. My sister can't come up with anyone who can take Peanut until she gets back in May. I can't take him, and I can't think of anyone either.
Does anyone have any ideas of how to deal with this situation, or know of anyone who would temporarily like to house a cat? He is recently neutered, so I am not sure why he is not getting along with the other cat. He is affectionate and sweet with people, and this behavior of not getting along with other animals is something that has started since my sister left. It makes me believe that it's an attachment thing. But, I have never had a cat before and basically know nothing about them. Any advice out there?

Feeling Lighter

I realized that I haven't blogged about something that I've been working towards since April of this year. I've been eating health and exercising. And by eating healthy, I mean limiting my caloric intake and making much healthier choices in what I eat. For example, eating lots more veggies, leaner meats, smaller portions, planning out my meals, looking at nutrition facts at restaurants before I decide what to eat, really not emotionally eating, and keeping track of it all on a phone app. I've also created the habit of getting up early before work and exercising for 50 minutes. And I really do exercise 5 days a week.

I don't share all this to brag, to bring any focus on myself or to make anyone else feel bad about themselves. I just wasn't happy with some problem areas that I felt like I had, and knew that it wasn't healthy to not watch my weight as I have an office job and sit a lot of the day. It's really easy to let your fall onto a slippery slope with eating out at the office and not being active. I've been so pleased that it's gone so well. I weighed myself about 2 weeks ago, and I had lost 20 pounds since I started in April. I was shocked that I've lost so much weight sticking with this, and that I haven't had to change anything in my health routine to continue to loose weight. It's been work and discipline, but it hasn't been the most horrible thing I've had to do. This is because I'm also not denying myself completely of things I love, not totally getting upset at myself for not being able to stick to watching my calories ect. 100% of the time; but I will choose to allow myself a small portion of something I love and be able to step away from it and enjoy it more because it's more of a decadence, and not a treat that I let myself get away with having every day...and if I do have a day where I don't completely stick to it, I don't get upset because one meal out of 21 I have a week isn't going to break any weight maintenance. It's been so fun to shop and feel even more comfortable in clothes, look better and feel like I am at a healthy weight. So, be encouraged and know that with some work, focus and discipline you can accomplish your healthy weight goals...and by healthy, I mean being at a healthy weight, and healthy mindset about your weight too.

Far and Few Between

Three weeks since I last blogged! Geez. I'm such a neglectful blogger. So much to talk about, that I don't know where to start.

First, school is going well! I have been blessed with a lot of good opportunities to be able to study. This is definitely a season different from the others where I have been in school, because I have a "real job". And even though I work full time, babysitting is not happening in my life very much at all as side work, so I have the appropriate amount of time needed to dedicate to school. Literally an answered prayer to be in this place. Slowly, but surely I am progressing more in my passion to be a nurse. And I am learning so much along the way.

I have been seeking some good counsel lately, and feel like I am in a place of replanting, growth, dependence and seeking God more, and so many revelations/realizations in my life. I know this is a little vague, but after being in a very difficult place a few months ago, I thought it would be wise to seek that counsel. And I'm so thankful that I did. I didn't know how helpful it could be at the time, but that is totally God's work in my life. He is good!

One last thing in my late night post. Last weekend, I went to a San Diego Padres game, where Switchfoot played a concert afterwards. Switchfoot was also selling their new CD that isn't even out yet at their merchandise table at the stadium. Of course I got it! (duh! Do you even know me?) ;) And it is AMAZING! It touches my soul so deep. Not only that, but it really relates to where I am at in my life (on a spiritual level). Here is a picture from the game.


Well, I hope that y'all are having wonderful weekends!

This Week Has Kicked My Butt...But All Is Well That Ends Well

For me personally, this week feels like it has sort of kicked my butt. There, I said it. Partly because it's been jammed packed. And because the stuff that it's been jammed packed with has been significant stuff. It has actually been a big week for me. I will say though, that I have felt God carry me through it. I have also had His truth spoken into my life every day of it. I had an MRI of my heart on Monday. I had to go to UCLA Medical Center for it. Where I had to take the day off work, and pay $12 to park in Los Angeles. It's true what they say, nobody walks in L.A.. I must say, the MRI was something that I tolerated pretty well. But, of course it's not something I want to have done all the time. My lovely roommate came with me to UCLA. We both thought it was hysterical how BIG the gown and pajama bottoms were on me, so she snapped a picture. Here is a slightly embarrassing photo of me. You are welcome.














After the MRI, we decided to walk across the street to Ditty Riece. It's a homemade ice cream sandwich shop. And let me tell you, it was good. Even the picture makes it look tantalizing.














The following day I had class after work. I am so excited about being in school! (I am a nerd, I know. It's something I love about myself though :) ) After getting out of class on Tuesday night, I drove to L.A. to see a concert that I couldn't miss. That would be drive number two to L.A. in 2 days. As if I didn't already have a busy week, and enough of my plate. But, the concert was so fun. And sometimes, you have a jampacked schedule. My friend Cynthia and I had a blast. It was Fiction Family (which is another band Jon Foreman from Switchfoot is in, of course), and the Pawnshop Kings. There was so much talent! I also had lots of fun taking pictures.

Yesterday was the big day. I got the results from my MRI, and saw a cardiologist at UCLA. In case you were keeping track, that is drive #3 to L.A. this week. I found out that part of my aorta is enlarged. It's at a concerning point, but I am not in the "red zone". The cardiologist is putting me on beta blockers to prevent it from getting any bigger. I am so grateful that I found this out, and all because I went to the Turner Sydrome conference! I know that it is totally God orchestrating all of it.

Right now, I am relaxing poolside as I house sit in Coto de Caza for the long labor day weekend. What a nice way to end this week. Cheers!

Little Somethin'

I've been so busy with life that I haven't blogged...but I also haven't had very much to formulate a blog post about. I will go ahead a tell you that I am having an MRI on my heart on Monday, and then the cardiologist appointment on Friday. Would love the prayers! I already feel like I've been covered in prayer, but I know that they are so powerful, and are helping me continue having peace and go with confidence that the Lord is lighting my path. He has up until this point, so why would He not continue doing so? I will leave you with a picture, and I will be back writing soon. And I'll also let you know the results of my tests!

These are pictures from the Turner Syndrome conference...I know I've told you lots about it, but now you can see the awesomeness that it was for yourself!

This little girl, along with her mom and sister attended the TS conference. She has TS...her momma brought a nice camera, and she saw mine and wanted to use it. Right after I took this picture, I let her take some pictures on it.

She took this picture of me...I think it's pretty cute. I know it seems vain to put up a picture of myself up on here, but I wanted to show off her photo skills! She was so cute, and very much wanted my camera.

This is Emily and me. I met Emily 7 years ago at a TS camp. She was my camp counselor. Emily is beautiful on the inside and out, and is a friend to all she meets. She helped a lot with the logistics of the conference. She is very dear to my heart, and I know we will be lifelong friends. We were on the dance floor in this picture, naturally! :)



This is Natalie and me. We met in person for the first time actually at the airport getting a shuttle to the conference airport. We'd been internet friends for a while, but we new who each other were right away. It was fate that our planes landed about the same time in Buffalo :)

Here are some of the dad's groovin' on the dance floor, having fun too!

xoxo

Music & Lyrics

I am a very lyrical person. Lyrics are a bigger part of a song than the musicality a lot of the time for me. Especially with Switchfoot songs...I know, I know. I am such a Switchfoot nerd. But, it's really because their lyrics just speak truth to me. Not long after I wrote my last post about going through a tough time, I was exercising in the morning. I usually listen to Bible on my phone while exercising. And then I will listen to music once I'm done. During this hard time, for a few days, I felt like I couldn't read/listen to my Bible. So, I would just listen to my music. And this song came on. It spoke to me, and reminded me that we are all faulted in this life...we all fall short. And it's on such a deep level. But, there is a hope and dependence on God that can carry us through this life...and that there will be a day when we are strong and completely whole in God. And until then, we can get glimpses of that perfection by being in community with God here on earth. Anyway, this song played and I remembered why it is that I chose the title of it as the title on my blog. Please read the lyrics! They are strong, powerful, enlightening and hopefully encouraging to you.


The Setting Sun

I've got a wound that doesn't heal,
Burning out again,
Burning out again

I've not sure which of me is real,
And I'm alone again,
Burning out again

My hope runs underneath it all,
The day that I'll be home

It won't be long, I belong,
Somewhere past the setting sun

Find me free, find me strong,
Somewhere back where I belong

Yeah, Yeah, (Yeah!)
Yeah, Yeah, (Yeah!)

Something shared with me again,
But I'm not buying it,
I'm not buying it

My wound goes deeper than the skin,
There's no hiding it,
So I'm not trying it
[ Lyrics from: http:/l ]
My hope runs underneath it all,
The day that I'll be home,

It won't be long, I belong,
Somewhere past the setting sun,
Find me free, find me strong,
Somewhere back where I belong

Yeah, Yeah, (Somewhere past the setting sun!)

Yeah, Yeah, (Yeah!)

Yeah, Yeah, (Going back where we belong!)

Yeah, Yeah, (I'll find you)
(The setting sun!)

Let the weak say I am strong, and it won't be long,
Let the right say I was wrong, and it won't be wrong,
Let us find where we belong,
Beyond the setting sun,
Beyond the setting sun

Yeah, Yeah

It won't be long, I belong,
Somewhere past the setting sun,
Find me free, find me strong,
Somewhere back where I belong

A Matter of the Aortic Valve

As I've mentioned on here before, I went to the annual Turner Syndrome Society of the US conference three weeks ago. It was really an amazing time. Such a great community, and being surrounded my medical professionals who are so caring and knowledgeable about Turner Syndrome. There were professionals speaking over the 3 days. And on the last night, we had a dance party. It was such a blast to have fun, dance and laugh with these girls and ladies that have so much in common.

At the conference, there was a cardiologist who was giving free echocardiograms. This cardiologist had also given a talk about the heart and having Turner Syndrome. I was very impressed. He even had his own staff with him to help with the echocardiograms over the conference. I have an abnormality of my heart where one of my valves is bicuspid, when in actuality it should be tricuspid. And I've never had any problem with it whatsoever. I've had several echocardiograms because of it, but it's only been to monitor it. Anyway, they said that unless there was anything pressing or needing attention, the doctor would get back to us at a later time with our results. On the last day of the conference, literally 30 minutes before I need to take the shuttle to the airport & still have breakfast, the people at the registration table told me the doctor wanted to see me. "Great", I thought. His concerns were that my aortic valve is enlarged. The echocardiogram was very unclear though, so he wanted me to see a cardiologist to follow-up, and get an MRI for a clearer picture. On of the concerns of having an enlarged aorta is that a tearing of on of the layers of muscles can occur. If it occurs, it can be life threatening. So, he referred me to someone at UCLA Medical Center. I've very thankful for this. The two doctors talked to each other. I don't have an appointment until next month, but I will have an MRI done before then.

It was really weird to get this information right before I was ready to leave on a few hour airplane flight. At one point I thought to myself, "what if my aorta is really enlarged and I have a tear in the muscle? And I'm way up in the sky!". But, God also comforted me and reminded me of all the things that the same doctor talked about in his presentation about this condition. Also, even though I haven't had an echocardiogram in a few years, it's never been of a concern. For all I know I may not actually have an enlarged aorta. The extremely cool thing is that I have been prayerful about it, and other people have as well on my behalf. If you could be praying for me too, I'd appreciate it. Let's see if God can continue to protect me and care for me, and show through the MRI that my heart is in tip-top shape!

Two Opposing Forces Working At The Same Time

It's interesting for me to write this post...for many reasons. One of those reasons is because I definitely haven't gathered all my thoughts. Another reason is because I also feel the need to hold back, and not disclose everything in my life. I tend to be more reserved and not talk about everything (even on my blog). But I don't want any fig leaves. Meaning, I don't want to keep things completely hidden or be ashamed of them. And because I am trying to be real at the same time as being an agent of truth. There have been some things that have happened lately, and while they were in the thick of happening they felt like (and were) this HUGE spiritual attack. Spiritually, I felt literally knocked down and beat up in battle. It was a time too when I felt like some lies were being thrown at me, and they were being disguised as truths. But praise God, He helped me regain my balance and get back on my feet. And He helped me know the lies for what they are...falsities from the pitt of darkness. Coming out of it all, I am still maintaining my balance. Still seeking guidance, wisdom & healing from God. And can I just say, I don't like how horrible situations here on earth can make us see the worst of the human condition & can potentially bring out the worst of us. I am still also learning about forgiveness too. And loving those who feel unloveable to me. All while still trying to fight for what is right, true & good.

At the same time, I am focusing on the blessings, grace & mercy in my life. Because despite one good size thing happening in my life, there is certainly a heck of a lot of wonderful things going on too. (Which, ironically makes this all the more interesting for me to go through. It shows me God knows what I can handle, and that He is there.) I am thankful for the friends I call my close and dear. And my family. Also, I had an amazing time at the Turner Syndrome conference 2 weekends ago. Work is going well for me; and in the 10 months I've been at this job, I received my 2nd raise this week. I am even more sure that God has me right where he wants me, and I am on a path paved out by Him. I am even more passionate about nursing and graduate school. And it looks like I should be getting into some more pre-req's this Fall.

I know that this post is a bit scatter brained. I hope that it makes sense to you (my few readers out there) :)

I know that in darkness, light is so easy to shine through! And that God wants to use all of me to draw closer to Him, and to minister to others. So if you could be praying for me, as well as those I love I'd appreciate it. I would just love to be covered in prayer.

To Post or Not To Post

I wrote a blog post yesterday. It's one where I wrote about something going on in my life, and shared a little more. I am still wondering if I should disclose or not. What say you?

Gate 58A

I'm getting ready to board a plane. I feel like a total jetsetter, even though this is not typical at all for me to be traveling SO much. This trip is extremely exciting for me, because I am going to a Turner Syndrome conference. It's my first conference! I am going to be re-united with friends I haven't physically seen in 7 years since I went to a camp for girls with Turner Syndrome! It's not everyday I meet someone with Turner Syndrome, let alone a whole hotel full. Also, a lot of medical professionals who specialize in Turner Syndrome will be speaking. And, I will get to visit Niagara Falls! I am so excited. And I feel so blessed to be able to go, and that God has provided and enabled me to go.

I'm a total amateur...and yet again, a Switchfoot concert!

The other week, I had the opportunity to take engagement photos for my roommate and her fiance. They got engaged last month, and my roommate asked if I would want to practice my photography skills on them. The three of us, and my friend Kristi, were all going to the Del Mar Fair to see Switchfoot play a concert. And light bulb! Let's take engagement photos at the fair! I thought I would share some of them with you. I don't have any photo editing software, so these are the raw images.

But, I thought some of them turned out pretty cute. I just love my roommate, and think her fiance is a pretty great guy too. They love each other.

Here are some pictures from the concert too...Kristi and I had backstage passes, which got us these backstage wristbands too. We were stoked.

Switchfoot put on an amazing rock concert...as usual. Kristi, Reny and Don all really enjoyed it. Here are the guys rockin' out!

And of course, Jon's obligatory climbing got him up on those amps. Crazy guy! It was a fun time had by all. Great music, with great lyrics, great friends...and then we got to meet the guys after the concert. (However, we weren't allowed to take picture with them because they were rushed.)

Still, so much fun. The kind that fills my heart, and makes my blood pump even faster, to the beat of the music for a whole week later.

Stirring

I posted a little while ago that my very good friend and roommate's mentor had written a book that I was reading. Well, I am still reading it. It's taken me a LOT longer than I thought. But, I am showing myself grace in this area because I've taken a class this last semester. Anyway, I'm back reading it again. I was told by the author, Preston, it's good to digest it in small bits.

It is so powerful and is having a big impact for me. It speaks so much truth that I feel can really resonate with everyone. It's hard to fully describe the book. But in a few more words, it is book in which gets down to the core of the desire each of us has for purpose, truth, connection with our Father and longing to be known and cherished. All of this takes place within a riveting adventure that two brothers take. I know it has been impactful for many others, and I hope that I can also be used to speak truth and God's greatness and love to others too (which, probablywon't be in the form of a writing...but who knows. I wanted to put up a quote from the book to leave you with, as well as a link to the website to get the book!

Jester explained that he would take advantage of the Prince's predicament by imitating his voice & suggesting thoughts to his as though he was thinking them himself. With any luck, the disillusioned & confused Prince would voice & appropriate Jester's suggestions thinking they were his own. If all went well, he would hear himself say things so powerful that their mere sound would sear a distorted conviction into his psyche, warp his thinking, wound his emotions, and further undermine his already doubtful opinion about his Father, the King.

Orange County Skies Aren't As Blue As The Skies In Colorado

A few weeks ago, over Memorial Day weekend, I was able to take a vacation to Denver, Colorado. And let me tell you, it was a vacation. It was filled with spending time with a good friend, being out in nature, relaxing and making new friends. This is the horse that I rode on. His name is Bam. Short for BamBam. I was a little suspicious when I first got paired up with him, but he actually turned out to be the best horse.

Here Stephanie and I are with our horses after our hour long ride. The funny thing is that we didn't even plan the purple jacket coordination. There was a funny moment where one of the cowboys on the ranch looked at my shoes and said, "Those are some nice shoes. Are they Puma's?". And then "are you sure you want to where those ridin'?".

The next day, we went hiking in Eldorado Park. It was beautiful. Filled with a river, huge rocky mountains to climb, and so much to see. Everything I saw felt like it came out of a postcard...except it was real! Even better!

We also went to Idaho Springs. It's a very small, almost run down, old mining town. My friend Stephanie said it'd be fun to go to, and a friend of hers had taken her to this pizza place called Beau Jo's. We get there and they have this thing called the "mile high pizza". I knew I'd seen it before on the show Man vs. Food...I asked, and I was right! And let me tell you, the pizza was huge! And they had some crazy toppings...like spaghetti and meatball pizza. It was a neat little town.

(the falls, in Idaho Springs, CO)

I also had the opportunity to meet Stephanie's boyfriend for the first time that weekend. And we got to spend a lot of time all together. Aren't they just a cute couple?

The Vagabond kind of life

For exactly two weeks, I've been living the life of a vagabond. Well, sort of. I've been housesitting and dogsitting for the past two weeks, with only two days off. But, it's been good. I like being able to take care of a home, and to spend time taking care of cute little doggies. I love dogs, and want one of my own. But it's time when I dogsit that I remember that it is a lot of work. It's good to be able to dogsit for periods of time and then be able to leave and the dog is reunited with it's family. It's unbelievable how dogs show unconditional love. One can never get sick of that. They are a constant companion...as a little treat, here is a picture of one of the little pups I've been sitting for. She likes to sleep all cozy under a comfy comforter.

Gwen also likes her walks...a lot!

Another event that's happened, is that my little brother has graduated eighth grade. I know that he still has a long way to go, but I just love him so much, can't believe that he is going into high school, and what a great little man he is!

The whole family!

Can you guys help me out here...I am trying to see any family resemblance between my brother and me.

More updates to come, but it's been a jam packed May, and June has been so far too. One highlight is that I've gotten to spend more time with Suresh from Harvest India (the mininstry I have gone to help in India three times), and RockHarbor has had India week/month and I've been busy helping with that. Man, I just love my India ministries family here, and love having friends from India visit too!