Choosing (Living the full life)

Choosing.  Life is about choices.  Big & small.  Easy & hard.  Most of the choices we make affect multiple areas of our lives.  They also have the ability to impact us years later. I have been thinking a lot about the choices we make.  There are people in my life who have definitely been hurt by the choices others have made.  Because of that, they are hyper cautious about making sure they do not make decision that will not touch or impact anyone else.  Don't make a mess, because then no one will have to get upset if they see any sort of mess .  With these people, I feel like I can't even ask then for a ride to the airport 7 minutes away when I need it, because they don't request help from anyone else in this way.  

In my mind, we are all in community & should all be there for each other.  This also involves being understanding of others (when the other person is truly repent-full, of course).  This whole concept has been relevant to my life, especially lately.  Of course I am not going to be careless with how I live my life.  And I am going to think about my actions before I do anything.  And of course I am going to think of others.  Don't get me wrong, I also understand that it can be very easy to have the "small stuff" become stressors.  But there is something inside of me that wages against letting it have presidence.
This has also got me thinking about how if life is messy, so how do I deal with it?  Exhibit A: I recently heard back from two of the graduate schools I applied to letting me know I was not accepted.  Yes, I feel loss in not getting into them.  That I wish I could hear that I was accepted, and not be in this funky season of waiting I am in.  That it didn't feel like I did a lot of hard work and it wasn't enough.  But, this is an opportunity to know that God works all things for good.  That this is all apart of my story.  God is doing something even in the middle of all of this.  And I will choose to still praise Him, seek Him, thank Him and dwell on all the ways He has provided and made a path for me in the past.  To me, it's so much more worthwhile to be filled with His goodness and the affirming things rather than but the negative things under a magnifying glass.  I'm going to press on, and press into Him more.  For we are commanded "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).  We are not promised to have a perfect life here on earth, but when we keep a heavenly focus, we can also see Him.  And heck, I am going to do that until I breathe my last breath. It is because of this that I am able to see all the places in my life God is so vitally at work, and it makes me feel like I am living such a FULL life.  I've been told that this way of always pressing onward and pressing through things despite obstacles is called grit...and I've been told I've got lots of it.  All the better for me!

In which I become the "How to loose a guy in 10 days" girl

Despite my lack of free time lately, I decided to sign up for online dating (again) a few months ago.  At first it was sslloowww.  Then, it started to pick up.  I even was matched with a surgeon who approached me!  (say what?!).  We talked and text consistently for a week.  Things seemed to be going well.  I noticed that after about our second conversation, by heart got really hopeful and in a state of dreaming that this could be a guy I maybe, possibly, potentially, slightly have a chance at dating seriously.  But then another week went by and he hadn't asked to meet me in person.  Not even for coffee.  I knew that inside of me, I did not want a technology based relationship.  Any person could seem great through the filter of typed words.  But I need to interact with someone in person.  I then got some advice to start directing our conversations by asking questions about why this surgeon decided to try online dating, his past experiences, etc. to see where the conversation went; because I didn't know where he "was at" with his own dating journey or what he was feeling about our communication.  I figured it would be a way to find out, and if he wanted to ask to meet me in person then this would be is opportunity.  Needless to say, we haven't talked in over a week since then.  I may have sort of scared him off a wee bit by being simply being slightly direct.  It felt just a teeny bit like I was that girl in the movies who dates someone for two weeks and then doesn't hear from the guy and she calls her friends saying that they had such a connection, that she loved him and they were going to live happily ever after.  Not that I went that far, but it was not difficult to get hopeful, start to wonder if things could go anywhere and also make the assumption that the reciprocating party feels the exact same way you do.  It's a lesson to keep a reality check, and to communicate well with others.  And also to guard yourself in constructive ways.  You are not bound to a person if you don't have their ring on your finger, nor are they bound to you.  (Insert a "check yourself before you wreck yourself" here.)  And conversations need to take place (appropriate to match where your relationship is...even if it's on an acquaintance level) in order to make sure expectations are aligned...even if it's a "hey, I think that I may be beginning to think of you more than just a friend".  If the guy goes running for the hills, he's definitely not ready.  You have to release it.  But, I did feel good about being truthful with myself and realizing where I desire to be in a relationship.

Oh, the life of a single woman  ;)

Grad School...it's not for the faint of heart

I am not going to lie...the previous week was a bit heavy.  The week before that was as well because at the same time I was dealing with scheduling an appointment to see my cardiologist because of a concern, I also found out that the three (YES, THREE!) community colleges that I enrolled in classes for summer school and worked my butt off in the past two months just so I could get a good registration for the Fall semester didn't offer my last pre-requisite that I needed in the evening this Fall.  *Insert a sucker punch here*.  Then, I went to my "Plan B" and double checked to make sure California Baptist still offered the online lecture and weekend lab class for said pre-requisite.  They had just taken away that Fall class two weeks prior because they didn't have enough teachers.  **Insert a fierce left hook ** So I am now going to Plan C, which involves taking this last class I need at a private school for health science.  It's a class that is on Saturday & Sunday from 8:30am-6:30pm for eight weeks straight...and it's about 35 minutes away from my house.  It's okay y'all.  I've made my peace with it, realizing that no matter which class I take it's going to be a sacrifice.  The End.  It is all working out and will even be beneficial to take the class right before I have a nursing school entrance test to take while the material from the class is still fresh in my mind.

Anyway, I had my cardiologist appointment.  I decided to do research and find a doctor who is a lot closer to me.  Turns out, I like her even more than my UCLA doctor (ssshh, don't tell my previous cardiologist) and she works alongside that doctor one week out of each month.  It really is the best situation.  And after getting an echocardiogram, she thought that there weren't any concerns with my aorta enlarging.  Praise God!

My mind was spinning during all of this, and after.  I went into going to church this past Sunday still having a lot on my mind and feeling the impact of all this.  And after getting the hits regarding school, I was really feeling discouraged and questioning a lot.  I was talking with God, and I knew that I needed prayer to get out of my own head but couldn't do it by myself.  I decided to take a leap of faith and get prayer from the prayer team at church for someone walk alongside me with this.  Two women prayed for me and were used by God to speak to me.  It was just what I needed.  They spoke peace, reassurance and I didn't even have to tell them much of anything about what was going on.  They even had a vision of me just having fresh air breathing into my lungs.  Then, this week has been amazing with making so much progress with applying to graduate school.  It felt so very good and like such a breakthrough!

All of this to say, I felt the power of prayer.  And I was wondering if you guys would continue to be in prayer for me and with me during this time of being challenged, really having to depend on God and rise to the occasion.  In the next three months I am needing to: take this pre-requisite class, take the GRE, take the TEAS test and apply to FIVE GRADUATE SCHOOLS!  Yeah, I think it's an understatement to say that I have a lot going on.  But I know that if I ask God everyday, He will be with me alongside this and guide me along the way.  I would love and adore your support.  Would you be willing to partner in prayer with me during this?

Blessings!

More updates

Thank you all for your prayers.  My doctors don't think that my aorta has enlarged as much as they previously thought, but I am actually going to get an echocardiogram this week to be sure.  If you could be praying for that, I'd really appreciate it!  I know that God is big, miraculous and supernatural.  It is such a desire of my heart (no pun intended...kinda, haha) for a miracle to happen even this week where it would shrink.  My faith may only be a mustard seed, but it is there.  And I believe.  I want my God to show doctors and myself how big He is.
 Another prayer request that I have, if it's not too much to ask, is about school.  I've hit some roadblocks that are making things a little more difficult.  Thankfully though, they are not deterring me from actually applying to grad school at the end of the year.  It feels tough though.  I won't lie...it felt like a blow.  But not one that knocked me down for long.  My prayer would just be guidance from the Father and direction from Him.  And that He would be first, not my own plans.

Well, I will give you another update after my tests on Thursday!  I pray you all have a blessed week.

2 Years Later: Then & Now

2 years ago this week, my life was kind of rocked.  Two huge events happened in one week...one of them was finding out my aorta was enlarged at a Turner Syndrome conference.  I went to the same annual TS conference this weekend.  And I received another echocardiogram from the same cardiologist.  It looks like I have to go in for some more testing because my aorta may have gotten even more dialated.  The echo I had this weekend was a great marker, but I may need to get another MRI. I am working with my cardiologist at UCLA and the Dr. who did the echo at the conference to determine all of this.  And I am so grateful for the Turner Syndrome society for putting the conference on to make women with TS more aware of concerns and help them by bringing in the most knowledgeable medical professionals and up to date information. I am beyond blessed to have this preventative care before something significant happened with my health, and I can monitor it.  If you could all be in prayer about the comparisons of the measurements that the doctors are looking at and the wisdom and ability to see if there are any more concerns.

Well, on a more lively note, the conference wasa a huge blast!  So much insight and useful information.  So much fun spending time with women I have an immediate bond with and understanding of.  We even danced the night away after attending sessions all day.  The Turnee Syndrome Society of the US is really doing a wonderful job helping others, creating connections and networks, and creating a great support group.

Thanks for reading, and I will be trying to post more regularly & keep an update about my heart too.  Peace & love

I am Squidward

Life has seemed to have a good amount of challenges lately.  In a way that is a bit of a sucker punch to the gut.  If I am honest, it's been a difficult two years with moments of less chaos and mess than others.  Things for be directly have been good in terms of work and school.  There are a lot of relational challenges happening right now. But I'm seeing God working through them and having his hand and it all for a long time. One of them being my family.  After a whirlwind two years behaviors and dynamic have gotten wonky.  My eyes have now been opened to the ways in which I have been seen like Squidward on Spongebob to the rest of my family. There...I said it!  Or, I can also be liked to Joan Cusak's character in the movie "Raising Helen".  You know the one I'm talking about...the sister who is the epitemy of a mom and loves flowers, potpourri and knitting.  But she can put kids in line with just a look.  Not that how I am made is bad, but these relationships have gotten too much into a funk.

He is also convicting me in so many aspects of my faith.  And I sense this huge stirring in me.  I know it's a work of the Holy Spirit because I can't even explain it.  I will just be super convicted of thing, or start to tear up about a certain matter -- like at this amazing conference with the Spirit filled Jen Hatmaker (http://jenhatmaker.com/).  If you could be keeping all that in prayer as long as well as school. I'm taking summer school classes and in upping the ante with the schools I'm considering applying for it by the end of year and really doing my part and keeping my heart and options open.

On a lighter note, I am trying to incorporate more fun into my life.  And I definitely got to this week with one of the dearest, truest, funniest, real and beautiful friend and sister in Christ, Jen.  I went with her and her husband to their first Fiction Family concerts.  It was a blast to spend the day with Jen in San Diego and then go to the concert.

Happy weekend y'all!

Restless

I'm needing to go to bed, so I can't write very much.  However, this has been a tough week or so for me, in significant ways.  And tonight was also a bit tough.  Will explain more later.  Praying for some good rest.

Lately

Lately, I have been more aware of how I am feeling.  It's a good thing.  Could also be due to being tired and maybe that isn't so great.  In the last few weeks, I have been feeling kind of alone, and at times lonely.  My heart longs for community and relationship, but it feels lacking.  That is why I say I feel alone, because everyone I know is so busy and living their own life and it's enable connections to be formed.  It's difficult and a let down to want to go deeper and just spend more quality time with someone, but it doesn't happen.  Not to say this isn't happening at all, but it's either few and far between or with far away friends where I don't have the ability to spend time with them in person.  However, I am asking God to search my heart in all this and I am drawing closer to Him.  And speaking the truth His promises real in my own heart and mind.

A late night post: Focusing on what is present & what is good

Lately, I have been in a very interesting spot.  I am feeling more & more convicted about certain things that God is working on in my life.  And I have also felt this sense lately to write.  Instead of blogging to do so, I have been journaling.  Seems to be a way to seek God more intentionally and go deeper into matters of my heart.

I've been in a funny spot too where I really have a longing for community...along with having a good amount more free time in my schedule.  To be honest, it is definite not very easy.  Disappointing in fact.  I've made attempts to connect with people I care about, all with unmet promises.  However, there are people that reciprocate the desire to connect and maintain a friendship.  And I choose to focus in those.  I have been able to have a good conversation with a wise person in my life who has given me some great advice about seeking community.  It will mean being open and vulnerable; it is always times where you are stretched, have to go outside of your own abilities and step out in faith where God can really be at work and do something quite beautiful and change things around in ways you just couldn't plan on your own :-)

To The Max

Oh, hey there Internet.  I'm making an appearance again.  Thought I'd drop in and get comfortable for a little while.  I've been feeling worked to the max -- between my actual job, school, doing extra babysitting, the holidays, family and leading a team to India.  My mind is at full capacity.  It's times like this when I feel overwhelmed by more things than normal and I find a depletion of the joy in my heart.  Because I tend to look at the big picture of things and want to get to the big finale, I feel the sufficance and heaviness and being purposefully in everything.  It's a lot for tiny little me.  Then the stress just seems to spiral and I end up not being able to be as successful in any of it.  But, I am thankful because tonight I feel like after hitting a (metaphoric) wall this late morning and afternoon I did some praying and leaning on God.  And it feels like prayers have been answered.  I feel like things are lighter, joyful and hopeful (even though these things were never hopeless, I've just been stressed).  I've decided that instead of going to other means to find my strength, peace, comfort and joy, I am going to continue to lean on God, pray through things, and also write.  Not find comfort in doing more, looking inward or doing such things as eating more.  I feel better already, and feel like I am mentally focused and able to study for the test I have tomorrow.  (What, are you surprised I have a test tomorrow? It'll be my 2nd one in 5 days...there is work to be done and tests to kick butt on.  No rest for me right now.)

The time I was Lance Armstrong

I have felt like writing lately.  It's quite therapeutic if you ask me.  And it is a way for me to get my thoughts into a coherent stream. There is just something about putting the thought onto the proverbial paper.  Also, I want to be vulnerable, transparent & share.
To be honest, I'm overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, God's love and faithfulness.  I'm not an emotional person, but it's made me feel emotional lately.  One reason is that I have waited for God's timing to go back to India.  You probably know this if you have been around my blog form a while, or know me at all.  Haha.  Anyway, I am going back in March.  It has been a true dream the past few months and weeks as to who God has orchestrated to be apart of the team that I am going with.  I am amazed at how God is faithful and answers prayers.  Down to even the specialties of the individuals who are applying to be on the team being diverse (as the other leader & I have been praying for)
and their vision.
Another thing is how well school is going.  Despite having the setback of not getting into the last pre-req that I need for nursing school this semester, I am doing well in the one pre-req I am taking this semester.  It makes me believe even more that God knows what he is doing, because it would haven probably been too much to take multiple upper division chemistry/biology classes while working full time.  (Like maybe on the verge of insanity.). Because this class is requiring a lot.

Lastly. I have gotten some good news about my health.  As a completely elective and voluntary measure, I did a stress echocardiogram about two weeks ago.  Which was an experience that I could dedicate a whole blog post to.  Try running on a treadmill with a hospital gown on (aka, with no bra) hooked up to electrodes and headgear with an oxygen mask. Then they increase speed and incline every three minutes.  Anyway, the results came out outstanding.  My aorta functions perfectly normal even thought it is enlarged.  And during exercise (the "stress" part) showed that I am getting above normal amounts of oxygen.  I thought, "I guess my exercising is paying off".  When I saw my cardiologist, he was so enthusiastic and happy about the results.  He even went as far to say I was his "Lance Armstrong".  My thoughts were, "Well, not exactly".  Haha.  What this means is that not only are there few concerns about my aorta enlarged, and is very managed.  But also, if I (and the man that I marry one day) ever wanted to carry a baby, I actually could.  I would not be at any risks.  It took me some time afterwards, but HELLO answered prayer!  There have been people praying for my heart for over a year now.  Specifically for healing.  If this isn't an answered prayer, I don't know what is.

Isn't God just so good!  I mean, beyond measure.  And if it's not too much to ask, could you be comtinuing to pray for me?  For the India trip(included the planning of it all, and that God would work all the planning out) and for school too (because the lab part of my class is a point of frustration for me)!

Thank you for reading, listening, praying and being apart of all this. I'd love to hear from you, so go ahead and leave a comment!  I'd love to pray for you too!

Honest Ramblings of the Heart

I'm dusting off this 'ole bloggity blog.  Haven't had time to write lately.  Also, I have teetered between having writers block and having a lot to write about and not knowing where to start.  It seems like a lot has happened.  And at the same time, things in my life are mostly the same.  I know, this is all very vague thinking and writing.  I'll get down to what I have in mind to write about.

I feel the human heart/soul is almost a mysterious thing.  I am almost 26, and I feel like I am just beginning to even realize this.  What has prompted me to write this is how my heart has been dealing with family stuff that has happened a little more than a year ago (and is still going on).  When it first happened, I was in shock.  At the same time, I felt strong and close in relationship with the Father.  He definitely has carried me through it.  But now, I feel like my heart is being impacted by the hurt even more.  Like the dust has settled and the mess is a little more obvious.  It is feeling vulnerable and not as strong.  The short of it is that it has left me feeling a bit lonely, short fused, unable to handle other hardships to the best of my ability, dwelling on the worst parts of people, and also defensive.  Defensive in the sense that I feel as if I have some good people in my life who are a huge support l, but I feel that many others I care about have been a bit ambivalent and that makes me feel as if they don't exactly care.  It's like going into battle already wounded. It doesn't feel this way all the time, but it happens and it doesn't feel good.  And my reaction is to not share and to become a bit reclusive.  This is not good, because being a student while working full time already means that I am a reclusive a lot of the time. Haha.  And then I get into a funk where all I can react to is how I am feeling, when I full well know that that the very person who I have decided doesn't care has got their own pile of crud going on too.  An example of this is how in a marriage, a husband and wife can have their own stressors individually, and instead of coming together and relying on each other for support they become less available and check out.  This is one thing I am passionate to fight against!  I want honestly and unity in all important relationships and especially within the Church.  Anyway, I know that darkness is overrun by the Light.  And I am praying even more intently for light to shine through.  In the meantime, remember that the person you are dealing with who seems like they are having a hard time or may not seem themselves needs some grace.  Or if your friend is going through a tough time, just be there for them to talk when they are ready or can actually but words to what is going on--but mostly just be threre.  Plan a night out with your friend, take them to do something life giving.  I'm going to try to remember that too, and hopefully it will help the light continue to shine in my heart.

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful." Colossians 3:13-15 NLT

I'm baaaaack

Seven and a half months is a perfect amount of time in between blog posts, right?  Even the website I use to publish posts has changed dramatically.  This is the part where I am suppose to say how busy I've been and how hectic life is.  And yes, it is.  But I'm also really trying to narrow things down to what really matters and is important to me.  I love writing, but I've really focused even more on school. And believe it or not, it's paid off!  I've been getting my prerequisites done & doing well in them!  I'm focusing even more on the important relationships in my life.  Also, I'm focusing on really talking to God everyday, praying to Him, putting my faith in Him and trying to listen to His daily.  It's definitely not easy.  It's like exercising or doing a sport...you have to practice and stretch your muscles.

Two God size things are happening in my life.  They're big praise reports!  First, I am making plans to go back to India!!!  Oh, how I've missed India & Harvest India so much.  I've been working a lot with the medical missions team at my church, and they are all in with the idea of taking the first medical team for our church to India.  It will also be the first medical trip Harvest India has ever had visit.  We are in the stages of planning the parts of the trip and deciding who would be best fit to be on the team.  So big and exciting though, because I've been waiting on this for two years and it seems that God would have this trip happen in the near future.

The second exciting thing going on has to do with school.  I'm so close to being completely finished with the prerequisites for the Entry Level Masters of Science in Nursing program.  So close in fact, that I decided to apply to take a combined Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry class at the graduate school I want to get into so that I could finish at the end of the Fall semester.  That way I would be able to have all my requirements done to apply for the 2013 grad program (and hopefully get in)!  It's been sort of a rollercoaster of events because I knew that I didn't have many more classes to take, but I was under the impression that I have more time.  That however isn't the case if I want to apply to start graduate school as soon as possible.  And about two weeks ago, I was attending an informational meeting for the program and got this big "oh crap, I gotta be moving even faster!" kick in the butt.  So, if y'all could be praying for these things.  And I'll definitely come back and give you an update in a week and a half or two to let you know how the nursing school acceptance is going!

Popping In

Has it really been about 6 weeks since I last blogged? Wow! That's too long! Life has been the busiest it's even been, let me tell you that. Between being in my friends wedding, school being in full force, work being busy, my birthday, Thanksgiving and then in the middle of it all we had flooding in our apartment. Cue the part where I pick up and move 2 weeks before finals. Fun times! God's been so good in all of it, and has carried me through it all. That's a story for later that I will definitely share!

I'm studying right now since finals are this week, but I felt the need to take a break and write. I'm actually having a bit of a tough day emotionally. If you couldn't tell from previous postings, there is family stuff going on right now. In the midst of that I'm trying to work on myself, learn from what's going on, mature and process. I've been going to a counselor to do these things, and it's been absolutely wonderful. I also have a mentor who is such an amazing example to me, and we connect on many levels (including family issues similar to what is going on for me right now). However, I think that why I'm having a difficult day is because there are times when I digress and instead of marking myself as an adult within my family dynamics with a particular person, I get a little wrapped up in a moment where I act instinctively with what I've known in the past, as oppose to what I want to be. And, it actually really frustrates me. I am learning that I actually have a slower emotional response time, so I can't act too quickly. Also, because this breaking down of a part of my life is simply hard. It's crappy. Period. And I am learning how to forgive and let healing happen, but darn it, it's not easy. And my humanness gets in the way. And I just want to shout, "this other person isn't changing and is making it really difficult and there are a thousand reasons why I could be hurt and of course I just want to protect myself!!!!"

I am at a little less frustrated point, because it is a little less frustrating to know why you are frustrated. Haha, if that makes any sense. But, if you could be praying for healing for me and my whole family. And in the immediate timeframe, prayer for quality studying, with lots of absorption of material and focus. xoxo

He's In The Army Now

The other week I got to witness something quite memorable and honorable. My 20 year old cousin became a US Marine. It was a privilege to be at the graduation ceremony, and get more insight into how the US Army is designed and works. Here are some pictures of the day!

This is my Nan... This photo is hysterical to me because she refuses to have her picture taken. Always. This photo happened a little accidental. But I think we now have a solution to her taking pictures. She can be the Wilson on Home Improvement of our family. We love you Nan!

A proud PopPop

Silly boys :)

The band. They were so far away, but they were a blast!

My cousin is in this group here.

A full fledged Marine now

My cousin and uncle

Aaron & his proud girlfriend

The proud mama

Well done Aaron! We love you lots, and are so proud of you!

Peace out

Always Save

Last night I wrote this long post about some of the ways that I have been challenged, and am learning. It's a sequel to a post a did a little while ago. However, I forgot to press save and it got deleted. Blarg! Always remember to save, people. Always!

(p.s., I will reconstruct the post, because it was good. Also, I have another post to write that is mostly a picture post. I know it's been a while since I posted pictures on here.)

Peanut

I have a problem. Of the feline kind. You see, my younger sister got a cat last year. His name is Peanut. Fast forward to the present. My sister left for Italy to study abroad for the year almost two months ago, and my aunt is now housing the cat because my parents had to get rid of their house and can't keep him.
But here is where the problem lies. My aunt has a cat of her own, and Peanut isn't getting along with him. She is trying to keep them apart, but she can't keep Peanut for much longer at all. My sister can't come up with anyone who can take Peanut until she gets back in May. I can't take him, and I can't think of anyone either.
Does anyone have any ideas of how to deal with this situation, or know of anyone who would temporarily like to house a cat? He is recently neutered, so I am not sure why he is not getting along with the other cat. He is affectionate and sweet with people, and this behavior of not getting along with other animals is something that has started since my sister left. It makes me believe that it's an attachment thing. But, I have never had a cat before and basically know nothing about them. Any advice out there?

Feeling Lighter

I realized that I haven't blogged about something that I've been working towards since April of this year. I've been eating health and exercising. And by eating healthy, I mean limiting my caloric intake and making much healthier choices in what I eat. For example, eating lots more veggies, leaner meats, smaller portions, planning out my meals, looking at nutrition facts at restaurants before I decide what to eat, really not emotionally eating, and keeping track of it all on a phone app. I've also created the habit of getting up early before work and exercising for 50 minutes. And I really do exercise 5 days a week.

I don't share all this to brag, to bring any focus on myself or to make anyone else feel bad about themselves. I just wasn't happy with some problem areas that I felt like I had, and knew that it wasn't healthy to not watch my weight as I have an office job and sit a lot of the day. It's really easy to let your fall onto a slippery slope with eating out at the office and not being active. I've been so pleased that it's gone so well. I weighed myself about 2 weeks ago, and I had lost 20 pounds since I started in April. I was shocked that I've lost so much weight sticking with this, and that I haven't had to change anything in my health routine to continue to loose weight. It's been work and discipline, but it hasn't been the most horrible thing I've had to do. This is because I'm also not denying myself completely of things I love, not totally getting upset at myself for not being able to stick to watching my calories ect. 100% of the time; but I will choose to allow myself a small portion of something I love and be able to step away from it and enjoy it more because it's more of a decadence, and not a treat that I let myself get away with having every day...and if I do have a day where I don't completely stick to it, I don't get upset because one meal out of 21 I have a week isn't going to break any weight maintenance. It's been so fun to shop and feel even more comfortable in clothes, look better and feel like I am at a healthy weight. So, be encouraged and know that with some work, focus and discipline you can accomplish your healthy weight goals...and by healthy, I mean being at a healthy weight, and healthy mindset about your weight too.

Far and Few Between

Three weeks since I last blogged! Geez. I'm such a neglectful blogger. So much to talk about, that I don't know where to start.

First, school is going well! I have been blessed with a lot of good opportunities to be able to study. This is definitely a season different from the others where I have been in school, because I have a "real job". And even though I work full time, babysitting is not happening in my life very much at all as side work, so I have the appropriate amount of time needed to dedicate to school. Literally an answered prayer to be in this place. Slowly, but surely I am progressing more in my passion to be a nurse. And I am learning so much along the way.

I have been seeking some good counsel lately, and feel like I am in a place of replanting, growth, dependence and seeking God more, and so many revelations/realizations in my life. I know this is a little vague, but after being in a very difficult place a few months ago, I thought it would be wise to seek that counsel. And I'm so thankful that I did. I didn't know how helpful it could be at the time, but that is totally God's work in my life. He is good!

One last thing in my late night post. Last weekend, I went to a San Diego Padres game, where Switchfoot played a concert afterwards. Switchfoot was also selling their new CD that isn't even out yet at their merchandise table at the stadium. Of course I got it! (duh! Do you even know me?) ;) And it is AMAZING! It touches my soul so deep. Not only that, but it really relates to where I am at in my life (on a spiritual level). Here is a picture from the game.


Well, I hope that y'all are having wonderful weekends!

This Week Has Kicked My Butt...But All Is Well That Ends Well

For me personally, this week feels like it has sort of kicked my butt. There, I said it. Partly because it's been jammed packed. And because the stuff that it's been jammed packed with has been significant stuff. It has actually been a big week for me. I will say though, that I have felt God carry me through it. I have also had His truth spoken into my life every day of it. I had an MRI of my heart on Monday. I had to go to UCLA Medical Center for it. Where I had to take the day off work, and pay $12 to park in Los Angeles. It's true what they say, nobody walks in L.A.. I must say, the MRI was something that I tolerated pretty well. But, of course it's not something I want to have done all the time. My lovely roommate came with me to UCLA. We both thought it was hysterical how BIG the gown and pajama bottoms were on me, so she snapped a picture. Here is a slightly embarrassing photo of me. You are welcome.














After the MRI, we decided to walk across the street to Ditty Riece. It's a homemade ice cream sandwich shop. And let me tell you, it was good. Even the picture makes it look tantalizing.














The following day I had class after work. I am so excited about being in school! (I am a nerd, I know. It's something I love about myself though :) ) After getting out of class on Tuesday night, I drove to L.A. to see a concert that I couldn't miss. That would be drive number two to L.A. in 2 days. As if I didn't already have a busy week, and enough of my plate. But, the concert was so fun. And sometimes, you have a jampacked schedule. My friend Cynthia and I had a blast. It was Fiction Family (which is another band Jon Foreman from Switchfoot is in, of course), and the Pawnshop Kings. There was so much talent! I also had lots of fun taking pictures.

Yesterday was the big day. I got the results from my MRI, and saw a cardiologist at UCLA. In case you were keeping track, that is drive #3 to L.A. this week. I found out that part of my aorta is enlarged. It's at a concerning point, but I am not in the "red zone". The cardiologist is putting me on beta blockers to prevent it from getting any bigger. I am so grateful that I found this out, and all because I went to the Turner Sydrome conference! I know that it is totally God orchestrating all of it.

Right now, I am relaxing poolside as I house sit in Coto de Caza for the long labor day weekend. What a nice way to end this week. Cheers!