Monday, November 19, 2012

To The Max

Oh, hey there Internet.  I'm making an appearance again.  Thought I'd drop in and get comfortable for a little while.  I've been feeling worked to the max -- between my actual job, school, doing extra babysitting, the holidays, family and leading a team to India.  My mind is at full capacity.  It's times like this when I feel overwhelmed by more things than normal and I find a depletion of the joy in my heart.  Because I tend to look at the big picture of things and want to get to the big finale, I feel the sufficance and heaviness and being purposefully in everything.  It's a lot for tiny little me.  Then the stress just seems to spiral and I end up not being able to be as successful in any of it.  But, I am thankful because tonight I feel like after hitting a (metaphoric) wall this late morning and afternoon I did some praying and leaning on God.  And it feels like prayers have been answered.  I feel like things are lighter, joyful and hopeful (even though these things were never hopeless, I've just been stressed).  I've decided that instead of going to other means to find my strength, peace, comfort and joy, I am going to continue to lean on God, pray through things, and also write.  Not find comfort in doing more, looking inward or doing such things as eating more.  I feel better already, and feel like I am mentally focused and able to study for the test I have tomorrow.  (What, are you surprised I have a test tomorrow? It'll be my 2nd one in 5 days...there is work to be done and tests to kick butt on.  No rest for me right now.)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The time I was Lance Armstrong

I have felt like writing lately.  It's quite therapeutic if you ask me.  And it is a way for me to get my thoughts into a coherent stream. There is just something about putting the thought onto the proverbial paper.  Also, I want to be vulnerable, transparent & share.
To be honest, I'm overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, God's love and faithfulness.  I'm not an emotional person, but it's made me feel emotional lately.  One reason is that I have waited for God's timing to go back to India.  You probably know this if you have been around my blog form a while, or know me at all.  Haha.  Anyway, I am going back in March.  It has been a true dream the past few months and weeks as to who God has orchestrated to be apart of the team that I am going with.  I am amazed at how God is faithful and answers prayers.  Down to even the specialties of the individuals who are applying to be on the team being diverse (as the other leader & I have been praying for)
and their vision.
Another thing is how well school is going.  Despite having the setback of not getting into the last pre-req that I need for nursing school this semester, I am doing well in the one pre-req I am taking this semester.  It makes me believe even more that God knows what he is doing, because it would haven probably been too much to take multiple upper division chemistry/biology classes while working full time.  (Like maybe on the verge of insanity.). Because this class is requiring a lot.

Lastly. I have gotten some good news about my health.  As a completely elective and voluntary measure, I did a stress echocardiogram about two weeks ago.  Which was an experience that I could dedicate a whole blog post to.  Try running on a treadmill with a hospital gown on (aka, with no bra) hooked up to electrodes and headgear with an oxygen mask. Then they increase speed and incline every three minutes.  Anyway, the results came out outstanding.  My aorta functions perfectly normal even thought it is enlarged.  And during exercise (the "stress" part) showed that I am getting above normal amounts of oxygen.  I thought, "I guess my exercising is paying off".  When I saw my cardiologist, he was so enthusiastic and happy about the results.  He even went as far to say I was his "Lance Armstrong".  My thoughts were, "Well, not exactly".  Haha.  What this means is that not only are there few concerns about my aorta enlarged, and is very managed.  But also, if I (and the man that I marry one day) ever wanted to carry a baby, I actually could.  I would not be at any risks.  It took me some time afterwards, but HELLO answered prayer!  There have been people praying for my heart for over a year now.  Specifically for healing.  If this isn't an answered prayer, I don't know what is.

Isn't God just so good!  I mean, beyond measure.  And if it's not too much to ask, could you be comtinuing to pray for me?  For the India trip(included the planning of it all, and that God would work all the planning out) and for school too (because the lab part of my class is a point of frustration for me)!

Thank you for reading, listening, praying and being apart of all this. I'd love to hear from you, so go ahead and leave a comment!  I'd love to pray for you too!