Thursday, April 17, 2014

The Results Are In

I've been head first in classes still, busting my hump to get the things done to get into graduate school.  The crazy/neat thing about blogging is that it is sort of like journaling.  You can look back and reflect on what's happened since the last time you wrote. I've finished two classes since the last blog.  And I'm smack dab in the middle of another. I know that I have to keep going on with classes and remain enrolled in community college to keep my status in the event that I am going to need more classes for another school I apply to for grad school. I have to remind myself that I do like school, I like learning, and that this is a marathon...shoot it's like a freaking Ironman competition. But we each have our own thing we our journey-ing on right?

In addition to that, I moved from my old apartment into a house with three other ladies.  It is such a great place and situation. I know that it was such a God send and He knew exactly what I needed in this place for this season.  

So, to get to the stuff you want to know about: THE GRAD SCHOOL RESULTS. I've heard back from all the schools that I've applied to. Each one was a "not accepted".  I am allowing myself to process this through the filter of how God sees me.  And how big He is.  That he has put this passion in my heart for a reason.  That it is not he who is rejecting me, but a competitive process. One of the results that I heard back from a school is they had 450 something applicants and only 60 spots.  That is a 13% chance of getting in. That is tough.  And thankfully, I am seeing the whole picture.  I will be honest here and share that it doesn't mean that it has been disappointing, frustrating, caused sadness and just been difficult. Like swimming upstream in a rough current. But, I am learning to be more free because of all of this. There is a lot of healing going on. I.n addition, the people I love have shown me so much love & support. And I am better at recognizing the good things I get to witness every day.

The hardest part is feeling so ready for this change, and this new chapter to happen but having nothing happen yet. I want a new adventure. But there are so many times when God has said to many "not yet" when they had a passion and goal.  I am waiting for the right timing.  His timing.  Right now the plan is that this Fall I will apply for some more schools to start at next year.  And I am praying that the few months from now unto then will be a sweet time of even more clarity from our Father and head first into His will. Because He is wild and free, full of His own adventures for my life and oh so good. I'm also proud of myself for stepping out & being brave by applying to more schools than I intended & was ready to jump in and move far away if I got in.