Monday, August 26, 2013

In which I become the "How to loose a guy in 10 days" girl

Despite my lack of free time lately, I decided to sign up for online dating (again) a few months ago.  At first it was sslloowww.  Then, it started to pick up.  I even was matched with a surgeon who approached me!  (say what?!).  We talked and text consistently for a week.  Things seemed to be going well.  I noticed that after about our second conversation, by heart got really hopeful and in a state of dreaming that this could be a guy I maybe, possibly, potentially, slightly have a chance at dating seriously.  But then another week went by and he hadn't asked to meet me in person.  Not even for coffee.  I knew that inside of me, I did not want a technology based relationship.  Any person could seem great through the filter of typed words.  But I need to interact with someone in person.  I then got some advice to start directing our conversations by asking questions about why this surgeon decided to try online dating, his past experiences, etc. to see where the conversation went; because I didn't know where he "was at" with his own dating journey or what he was feeling about our communication.  I figured it would be a way to find out, and if he wanted to ask to meet me in person then this would be is opportunity.  Needless to say, we haven't talked in over a week since then.  I may have sort of scared him off a wee bit by being simply being slightly direct.  It felt just a teeny bit like I was that girl in the movies who dates someone for two weeks and then doesn't hear from the guy and she calls her friends saying that they had such a connection, that she loved him and they were going to live happily ever after.  Not that I went that far, but it was not difficult to get hopeful, start to wonder if things could go anywhere and also make the assumption that the reciprocating party feels the exact same way you do.  It's a lesson to keep a reality check, and to communicate well with others.  And also to guard yourself in constructive ways.  You are not bound to a person if you don't have their ring on your finger, nor are they bound to you.  (Insert a "check yourself before you wreck yourself" here.)  And conversations need to take place (appropriate to match where your relationship is...even if it's on an acquaintance level) in order to make sure expectations are aligned...even if it's a "hey, I think that I may be beginning to think of you more than just a friend".  If the guy goes running for the hills, he's definitely not ready.  You have to release it.  But, I did feel good about being truthful with myself and realizing where I desire to be in a relationship.

Oh, the life of a single woman  ;)

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Grad's not for the faint of heart

I am not going to lie...the previous week was a bit heavy.  The week before that was as well because at the same time I was dealing with scheduling an appointment to see my cardiologist because of a concern, I also found out that the three (YES, THREE!) community colleges that I enrolled in classes for summer school and worked my butt off in the past two months just so I could get a good registration for the Fall semester didn't offer my last pre-requisite that I needed in the evening this Fall.  *Insert a sucker punch here*.  Then, I went to my "Plan B" and double checked to make sure California Baptist still offered the online lecture and weekend lab class for said pre-requisite.  They had just taken away that Fall class two weeks prior because they didn't have enough teachers.  **Insert a fierce left hook ** So I am now going to Plan C, which involves taking this last class I need at a private school for health science.  It's a class that is on Saturday & Sunday from 8:30am-6:30pm for eight weeks straight...and it's about 35 minutes away from my house.  It's okay y'all.  I've made my peace with it, realizing that no matter which class I take it's going to be a sacrifice.  The End.  It is all working out and will even be beneficial to take the class right before I have a nursing school entrance test to take while the material from the class is still fresh in my mind.

Anyway, I had my cardiologist appointment.  I decided to do research and find a doctor who is a lot closer to me.  Turns out, I like her even more than my UCLA doctor (ssshh, don't tell my previous cardiologist) and she works alongside that doctor one week out of each month.  It really is the best situation.  And after getting an echocardiogram, she thought that there weren't any concerns with my aorta enlarging.  Praise God!

My mind was spinning during all of this, and after.  I went into going to church this past Sunday still having a lot on my mind and feeling the impact of all this.  And after getting the hits regarding school, I was really feeling discouraged and questioning a lot.  I was talking with God, and I knew that I needed prayer to get out of my own head but couldn't do it by myself.  I decided to take a leap of faith and get prayer from the prayer team at church for someone walk alongside me with this.  Two women prayed for me and were used by God to speak to me.  It was just what I needed.  They spoke peace, reassurance and I didn't even have to tell them much of anything about what was going on.  They even had a vision of me just having fresh air breathing into my lungs.  Then, this week has been amazing with making so much progress with applying to graduate school.  It felt so very good and like such a breakthrough!

All of this to say, I felt the power of prayer.  And I was wondering if you guys would continue to be in prayer for me and with me during this time of being challenged, really having to depend on God and rise to the occasion.  In the next three months I am needing to: take this pre-requisite class, take the GRE, take the TEAS test and apply to FIVE GRADUATE SCHOOLS!  Yeah, I think it's an understatement to say that I have a lot going on.  But I know that if I ask God everyday, He will be with me alongside this and guide me along the way.  I would love and adore your support.  Would you be willing to partner in prayer with me during this?