Monday, July 25, 2011

Two Opposing Forces Working At The Same Time

It's interesting for me to write this post...for many reasons. One of those reasons is because I definitely haven't gathered all my thoughts. Another reason is because I also feel the need to hold back, and not disclose everything in my life. I tend to be more reserved and not talk about everything (even on my blog). But I don't want any fig leaves. Meaning, I don't want to keep things completely hidden or be ashamed of them. And because I am trying to be real at the same time as being an agent of truth. There have been some things that have happened lately, and while they were in the thick of happening they felt like (and were) this HUGE spiritual attack. Spiritually, I felt literally knocked down and beat up in battle. It was a time too when I felt like some lies were being thrown at me, and they were being disguised as truths. But praise God, He helped me regain my balance and get back on my feet. And He helped me know the lies for what they are...falsities from the pitt of darkness. Coming out of it all, I am still maintaining my balance. Still seeking guidance, wisdom & healing from God. And can I just say, I don't like how horrible situations here on earth can make us see the worst of the human condition & can potentially bring out the worst of us. I am still also learning about forgiveness too. And loving those who feel unloveable to me. All while still trying to fight for what is right, true & good.

At the same time, I am focusing on the blessings, grace & mercy in my life. Because despite one good size thing happening in my life, there is certainly a heck of a lot of wonderful things going on too. (Which, ironically makes this all the more interesting for me to go through. It shows me God knows what I can handle, and that He is there.) I am thankful for the friends I call my close and dear. And my family. Also, I had an amazing time at the Turner Syndrome conference 2 weekends ago. Work is going well for me; and in the 10 months I've been at this job, I received my 2nd raise this week. I am even more sure that God has me right where he wants me, and I am on a path paved out by Him. I am even more passionate about nursing and graduate school. And it looks like I should be getting into some more pre-req's this Fall.

I know that this post is a bit scatter brained. I hope that it makes sense to you (my few readers out there) :)

I know that in darkness, light is so easy to shine through! And that God wants to use all of me to draw closer to Him, and to minister to others. So if you could be praying for me, as well as those I love I'd appreciate it. I would just love to be covered in prayer.

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