Despite my lack of free time lately, I decided to sign up for online dating (again) a few months ago. At first it was sslloowww. Then, it started to pick up. I even was matched with a surgeon who approached me! (say what?!). We talked and text consistently for a week. Things seemed to be going well. I noticed that after about our second conversation, by heart got really hopeful and in a state of dreaming that this could be a guy I maybe, possibly, potentially, slightly have a chance at dating seriously. But then another week went by and he hadn't asked to meet me in person. Not even for coffee. I knew that inside of me, I did not want a technology based relationship. Any person could seem great through the filter of typed words. But I need to interact with someone in person. I then got some advice to start directing our conversations by asking questions about why this surgeon decided to try online dating, his past experiences, etc. to see where the conversation went; because I didn't know where he "was at" with his own dating journey or what he was feeling about our communication. I figured it would be a way to find out, and if he wanted to ask to meet me in person then this would be is opportunity. Needless to say, we haven't talked in over a week since then. I may have sort of scared him off a wee bit by being simply being slightly direct. It felt just a teeny bit like I was that girl in the movies who dates someone for two weeks and then doesn't hear from the guy and she calls her friends saying that they had such a connection, that she loved him and they were going to live happily ever after. Not that I went that far, but it was not difficult to get hopeful, start to wonder if things could go anywhere and also make the assumption that the reciprocating party feels the exact same way you do. It's a lesson to keep a reality check, and to communicate well with others. And also to guard yourself in constructive ways. You are not bound to a person if you don't have their ring on your finger, nor are they bound to you. (Insert a "check yourself before you wreck yourself" here.) And conversations need to take place (appropriate to match where your relationship is...even if it's on an acquaintance level) in order to make sure expectations are aligned...even if it's a "hey, I think that I may be beginning to think of you more than just a friend". If the guy goes running for the hills, he's definitely not ready. You have to release it. But, I did feel good about being truthful with myself and realizing where I desire to be in a relationship.
Oh, the life of a single woman ;)