Monday, December 13, 2010

Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows

Do you remember that phrase? If I am honest, this is what my life has felt like the last few years. But it's funny how while you are in a rutt, you don't recognize it. I have been doing the best that I can to help others, make a living and try to get into graduate school. I've been spinning around and around moving fast and not knowing which direction was left or right or up or down. Just trying to gain momentum in any direction. It's not that I don't love babysitting by any means, or that I am not passionate about nursing. And it's not that I haven't been absolutely blessed along the way. It's just that I didn't have the proper steering. It really is about a long season of babysitting full-time coming to an ending for me. (About an 8-9 year season!) I did a lot of praying through it all, hoping that somehow a door would open and I could go into grad school.
Then, I starting working an a financial advisory firm part time thanks to my lovely and wonderful roommate. I thought it would be great to work there because babysitting had somewhat drastically slowed down and was even more unsteady; and I'm going to India and could always benefit from extra work. Then, it turned out that the firm was needing a full-time employee. My roommate then really began to advocate for me at work, and also showed me a lot of ways of how having a set schedule would allow me free evenings to study and go to school and would be such a benefit for me. A concept that seriously seemed so simple, but also seemed like such caring and wise counsel. So, because of my roommates influence and the respect she holds with our boss I was able to meet with him and he really wanted to hire me. I was ecstatic. Honestly, it seemed like a dream come true. Like it was too good to be true. But it was and is true! I am now working full-time at a financial securities office! I am learning so much about how to manage my finances wisely, and so much about the financial industry that I know is going to help me for the rest of my life. And this is such a good place for me to be in so that I can work on my own goals and aspirations in life.
With all this to say, it was so hard for me to get myself to say yes to such a good opportunity. I felt like I was abandoning the families I babysit for. Leaving them in the dust. Not to mention, I love the families and kids I sit for! But I was allowing it to be my main focus, and getting overly caught up in it. I feel like the whole journey through this for me was allowing myself to actually do something good for myself. To give myself more freedom, more room to breathe, and to also work on my dreams and what I feel God has called me to do. And to also trust God, knowing that He would provide for the families I sit for no matter what. Needless to say, working full-time has already been so absolutely beneficial to me. It's made me feel so thankful and so taken care of. And, the funny thing is that basically the day after I allowed myself to take this job and fall into doing something so worthwhile for myself I registered for classes for the Spring semester. And guess what? I am now signed up to finish a pre-req that I haven't been able to get into! It will start 2 hours after I get off of work, allowing me plenty of time to get to school and possibly finish any needed work or study. God isn't a god of coincidences, is He? He's a God of love, caring, freedom and amazing plans (for me AND YOU)!

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